After a few years of poking and prodding and being regarded as an alien for not having already read MSPA, I was lured into it with the promise of $6. Yes, I’m a cheap whore. You too can get me to do what you want for some cash. I have no godly clue how tumblr works, so please go easy on me. In addition to the aforementioned $6, another good friend of mine said he’d possibly make a Bleach roleplaying forum if I did this. So…. HERE I AM!!!…Fml

1. Tavros is often-used in porn.
2. This porn is often adorable.
3. John is an idiot.
4. In act 1, there is a brightly-flashing white and blue jester thingy. Its existance is my pain. When it appears, I cry due to almost getting a migraine.
5. There are obnoxious music-based pages and flashes which often get me in trouble…at least before I learned all the symbols.
6. Did I mention all of the porn?
7. Oh, and according to a personality test, I apparently am Tavros. This shall confuse me.
8. I know who Tavros is due to all of the porn with him.

I’ve tried to start MSPA twice, now. Both times, I quit early in. First time…I got to the Seizure-Inducing Clown of Death. Second, Rose appeared, I stopped caring. This time shall be different!

The reason this blog was made, and the reason it’s named as such, is due to a friend. He said he’d toss $6 upfront, $10 more upon completion, to my Dildo Fund. Anybody else who wishes to may, I’ll likely be putting a Paypal link of some sort up later.

The one I’m looking at is around $100-$120, and I don’t care about colors much. So if I get enough to pay for it, I shall do it in whatever color or colors the people want.

This isn’t necessary, more just a random guy saying he’ll take whatever he can get. Assuming nobody else puts any, I’m already 16/120 to the goal. So, why not.

I shall be starting this tomorrow, April 30th, at an undisclosed time. It may be before the sun rises, or it may be as it is setting.

Well, ladies and gentlemen. We seem to have a newbie reading MSP–Wait, what do you mean I’m the new person!? Oh, fuck. Well, let’s just get to it all. At first, I swore the name entry was just ripping information out of my computer. Mainly because John Egbert is SCARILY alike my own name. Like, change two characters, you’re there.

So, our protagonist is a lovely lad named John, who seems to keep cake and hammers around his room. Why? Damned if I know. Maybe one of you can explain that to me… Anyway, the SYLLADEX is brought into the picture. And like my alternate-reality self, I am thoroughly confused as to what it means…

With the opening antics out of the way and the startling realization that fake arms are, indeed, essential to anything and everything, they are equi–DAMMIT! Stop with the language. As we speak, a friend of mine is explaining all of these structures. If it took me two hours to get a tumblr going, advanced programming is not my forte…

Welcome back to a lovely session of ‘Kuro does MSPA’! We open up with a lovely, introspective look at a poster. How wise, how…lovely. Followed by a message addressed simply 'Son’. I do believe that my Self-Insertion Fanfic meter just jumped a tiny bit. Either quivering with abject horror or dread, I know not…

Am I alone in thinking that the image in this is the best thing to date?

Also, TurntechGodhead is quite possibly the worst and most accurate interpretations of my friends ever. 'Oh my god, apple juice! It’s fuckin’ Christmas up in this bitch!’…Please, shoot me.

FFFFFFFFF-Cockblock Dad appears, claiming all mail as his own. At least until that death ray is completed… Oh, of course setting something to Hammerkind forever won’t do anything. But you will be the go-to superhero when it comes time to defeat the evil 2 x 4 boss!

[4/29/12 9:17:38 PM] Kuro Dokueki: That face thar.
[4/29/12 9:17:41 PM] Kuro Dokueki: That will be my go-to face.

GAME BRO: Also known as…any gaming magazine in the past ten years? Maybe it comes from being a niche gamer, but that sounds like every game I’ve ever enjoyed, being trashed…

In short, believe in the me that believes in you that believes in the me that believes in you! Also, I shall do anything to avoid ever using your name like this, Sonny boy Jim Bob son boy Jim.

…Well played, Hussie. Well played you son of a bitch. No, I have no REAL reason for saying this. Just that it’s the first time in a long time I’ve seen tarot displayed in such a way. Is this supposed to be a reference to the blank slate that is my alternate-reality self? …Or am I just reading too much into all of this. Likely the latter…

Aaaanyway, let me explain all that babble. Basically, the cards you see in that image are The Fool, or Trump 0, in two different tarot decks. The one on the left is from Rider-Waite, the most popular deck in the world.

The Fool tends to refer to emptiness. Unknowing of hardship or strife, or good things either. This can also apply to lack of knowledge about the past or future. Since he seems to have only just gotten a name, and is awestruck by THE SUN (Honestly, who among us isn’t? Shit is damned bright), parallels can be drawn.

The Fool is someone who just…doesn’t know about life. It also represents the beginning of a journey. Enlightenment, knowledge, all of those joyous things. Since Hussie seems to have given a major hint as to John’s basis, maybe there’ll be moments later on which can be identified as steps on this journey. If I see them, I will comment. Of course, I may just end up forgetting this whole thing…

Reviewers’ Note: My friend needs to learn to tell me all this shit at once. I’ve edited this no less than five times in five minutes, trying to add more of the stuff that I meant to put but didn’t. And he keeps saying more shit. ARGH!!!

…I wonder, will we ever captchalogue a captchalogue card with a captchalogue card inside of it? My alternate self seems to be well on his way to that…

Oh, hey, I wonder what that [S] thing is, I bet it’ll be fu–FFFFF! Couldn’t they give that warning BEFORE the first time it happens!? I mean, I love haunting piano refrains as much as the next broadway-born gay guy, but this is a bit much…

So rather than an alternate-reality form of me, he’s just stuck a ways in the past, when Hi-C was the shit and people knew it? Good to know!

DON’T DO IT JOHN, THE CAKE IS A–Fuck, I’m going to hell for even mentioning that, aren’t I? Oh well, a terrible reference is allowed once in a while. I just need to be extra careful next time…

And this time, we end on the note of SUDDENLY DISGUISE! I am quite amused by how it all stays in a shape very much like what it was on the card. It may have been funnier though if eyes and pipes and bowlers just skittered about in every direction…

McConaughey Wall… Sounds like John really is channeling me. Except replace Matthew with Maksim Chmerkovskiy. But walls dedicated to the charm of a well-groomed male are not foreign to me.

Ohgodtheselfreferencinghumoritblindsme!!!

Put DOWN the cookie, John. Put it down, right this seco–…Or not. Just send it rocketing out like you always do…OHGODSTOPDOINGTHAT!!!

Alter-ego John is apparently as daft as they come. One of these days, he’s gonna kill a big boss by accidentally ejecting a nuclear missile at their head. YOU SAW IT HERE FIRST!!!!

Also, rapeface. That is officially rapeface to me.

Also, the SBURB Beta downloading screen is awesome. Music, not so much. BUT SO MUCH PRETTY!!!

…So, according to the voices in my head, and in the log, TT has absolute control over the items in the house. Or that’s what I choose to believe. I get the feeling he/she/it was not prepared for this responsibility….Nope, she was not.

…And she placed a giant sewing machine in the room, disguised as a Totem Lathe. Suuuuure it is. We all know it’s just an alternate-reality sewing machine.

Also… PLACE ALL THE FUCKING THINGS!!!

TT: There’s a cake in the toilet.

Spoken in the dryest of tones, so condescending and confusion-filled I bet it could cause the mightiest of beings to come crashing down…

John the Ninja. Super-jumping through the house! And now he is the Hammerbo–Fuck. Hammerkind. Which may very well MEAN he has a hammer’s blood for all I know.

…Okay, one more, I promise.

THIS HAMMER OF MINE IS BURNING RED!!! ITS LOUD CRY TELLS ME TO DEFEAT YOU!!!

TERRIBLE! FUCKING! IDEA!!!